This exercise will help you and your partner look at what you expect from married life and to talk through any doubts and fears you may both be having.

What to do
Before trying this exercise it's worth having a look at the Guidelines for exercises.
You can do this exercise together or separately before talking it through later.
Take six sheets of paper each and write the headings below at the top of each sheet. (These headings are from one of the common marriage ceremonies. You may have chosen something different for yourselves, these are just useful for this exercise.)

1)To have and to hold
2)From this day forward
3)For better, for worse
4)For richer, for poorer
5)In sickness and in health
6)To love and to cherish

Take as much time as you need to write under each heading what you think each one is about, all the things you hope and your doubts and your fears.

Helping hand
These questions may help you complete the sheets

To have and to hold - what does being a couple mean? Where do you stand on faithfulness? How much time do you want to spend together and apart? What things will you share and what should be private?

From this day forward - what are your feelings about commitment? How do you feel about divorce? How might the relationship change over the years? Where do children fit into your plans?

For better for worse - how will you keep intimacy going in your relationship? How will you manage differences? What will you do if big issues arise?

For richer for poorer - what does marriage mean to you financially? Will your attitudes towards employment change?

In sickness and in health - how will you support each other during ill health and times of sadness and difficulty?

To love and to cherish - how will love be demonstrated in your marriage? How important will sex be in your relationship?

Once you've finished, take some time to talk through what you've written. Think about where some of your feelings have come from.